Aug 27, 2003
missing you..
well..im bac in japan..it sucs. haha. i got bac yesterday at 4..then got bac onbase at 730. i wus knocked out on the bus. jetlags a bitch. newaisee..on my las morning there..my brother woke me up at like 600 cuz my baby wus on the fone to wake me up. hehe..thenn..i got ready n at 63o my babe showed up to say goodbye. =( it wus horrible. first i had to say bye to my brother cuz he wus gon go to scool..then..me n my baby talked fo a lil bit..n he had to go scool. damnn..i wus crying. soo we said our goodbyes..you kno how it is. mm..yeahh i dont really wanna think bout that..soo moving on..plane ride..got off..blehh. i MiSS YOU BABY. =(
soo..today wus my first day of scool. it wus actually pretty good. this morning wus raining hella hard..then at lunch it wus all sunny!? newaisee..my schedule..is..
first period::
spanish lll //
ms. haseley
second period::
honors english 10* //
ms. richardson [dope ass teacher]
third period::
yearbook production/
journalism combined //
ms. vande
fourth period::
biology //
mr. wright
fifth period::
world history //
ms. casey
sixth period::
computer aps //
ms. murphy
seventh period::
algebra //
ms. yamamoto? i think. haha i forget..
eighth::
seminar w/ ms. haseley
well i've only been to my
A day classes..soo yeah. dont really kno. but newaisee..i saw my
homegirls today! woo-hoo! i loved it. haha at lunch..
me jackz ice n
cheri chilled at the
STUDENT FORUM FOO. haha gotta love it, rite!? carpeted scool..lil tables outside..hahah..ohh shoot..
kinnicks goin ALL OUT. haha. well yeah..after scool..me n
steph sat at those tables fo awhile..then I WALKED HER TO HER BUS..because ima great friend. haha..then i walked home..talked to
my baby on the fone..organized my shit..went to NEX to buy sum stuff..then
steph called! talked fo awhile..n now him here. sleepy as fuc cuz im jetlagged n im hungry but im too tired to make ne food. =( i miss my chuck..
bianca<3
chuck813o1
Posted at 09:01 pm by b0nafid3
Aug 25, 2003
depression
baby set me free..from this misery. i cant take it no more. since you went away, nothings been the same..dont kno what im livin for. here i am..so alone. n theres nothin in this world i can do until youre bac here baby..miss you want you need you soo..until youre bac here baby..theres a feelin inside i want you to kno..you are the one n i cant let you go. so i told you lies..even made you cry..baby i wus so wrong. boy i promise you..now my love is true. this is where my heart belongs. cuz here i am..so alone n theres nothin in this world i can do until youre bac here baby..miss you want you need you so..until youre bac here baby. theres a feelin inside i want you to kno..you are the one n i cant let you go. and i wonder..are you thinkin of me cuz im thinkin of you..and i wonder..are you ever comin bac in my life? cuz here i am..so alone..n theres nothin in this world i can do..until youre bac here baby..
well yeah..im leaving tomorrow n my parents are being strait out fuccin bitches. they wont let me leave my fuccin house n its MY LAS FUCCIN DAY. whatever man..whatever. man im jus so fuccin sad. i jus keep crying..n it gets to the point where i cant stop. sumbody should jus fuccin shoot me n take me out of my misery. well yeah..i ended up calling tracy earlier n i felt better..but not at the same time cuz i wus still crying..but yeah..thanks trace. i love you girl! i fuccin hate my parents. wut the fuc is their problem!? they're jus a bunch of bitches n i jus wanna go home..to my friends where im not alone n theres alwaise sumwhere to turn to n sumone to call..i dont wanna be here nemore cuz nobody is here. chucks at a family thing..my rents jus dont get it..n my brother isnt here. i've never been so alone..n i cant do nething but sit here n be miserable. n wuts even worse is that tomorrow i cant call chuck..n i cant expect to see him. nothing is goin my way. n i kno shit cant alwaise go my way but NOTHING is going my way. im jus so fuccin MISERABLE. i hate it. sumbody should jus fuccin shoot me.
Posted at 11:21 am by b0nafid3
Aug 24, 2003
bored .. bored .. boredd ..
hola mis amigas y amigos..como estas!? que pasa!? nada aqui..haha okay i'll shut up now. im realllly bored rite now. im waiting fo my baby to get over here but he has to help his madre with the lawn or sumthin. haha ISNT THAT JUS SOO CUTE!? haha jus kidding. blahh..im over my depression. mm yeah..maybe i wus jus lackin sleep!? haha well yeah..las nite..my rents had a lil get together..n i stayed on the fone w/ andrew fo like 2 hours?! haha dangg..i havent seen him in like 4 years..hes supposed to come over today. thenn my baby called me at 11 n we got off around 230..then i slept..n fo sum reason, i alwaise wake up at like 5 cuz i have to pee. haha..weirdd, rite? dudee..its my las saturday here n my boyfriend isnt even here yet. he needs to jus hurry that shit up! oh well..im talkin to my coool cousin jenny. haha sorry i didnt call you girl..yannoe..slipped my mind. newaisee..ima end this here..byee now. onee.
Posted at 07:32 am by b0nafid3
Aug 23, 2003
v.2//miss PiMP
new layout.. soo yeah..i did the whole MiSS PiMP thing..haha you kno, you kno. newaisee..todays been boring..did a whole lotta nothing except email my very best friends. + STiFFY TRACEME ROyourBOAT+ i miss you guys! haha. i wus supposed to go to eastlake high to see my homegirl from like kinder..but SUMONE had this bullshit excuse n wouldnt go n get here fo me.."i have practice..[in 3o minutes foo]..it takes me a long time to dress out..[the fuc? it takes you 3o mins?!]..shes too far..its like 1o min walk [uhh..wutever homie].." the stuff in the brackets is wut i wus thinkin/sayin. yeah n i wus already havin a bad day (again) n me n my dad were like fighting bout goin to ehs n then he cant even do me that fuccin favor. oh n another excuse.."theres people around my locker[SO TELL THEM TO FUCCIN MOVE STUPIDASS]" wutever..im over it. laziness is yo fuccin excuse.
NEWAISE. ima end this..onee..
++edit
man..i cant believe im gon say this..but i jus wanna go bac to japan. i mean i wanna stay here cuz you kno ima succer fo daygo..its my truee home..n i jus love everything bout it..but in japan..regardless of the haters n drama..i still have my homiess. yannoe? like i have my homegirls n homeboys here..but its not the same..my friends there..even if they havent known me since elementary like people here..they kno wut im like now..they kno wut i been through..n understand me. im jus depressed here cuz of all this shit..n yeahh..i dunnoe. i cant remember the las time i wus this depressed. sumbody should jus fuccin shoot me n take me outta my fuccin misery, huhhh trace? oh well. i'll get over it. im out. gotta call the homeboy andrew now..
Posted at 10:30 am by b0nafid3
Aug 22, 2003
i LOVE + you +
i wanna kno why this feels so rite..i wanna kno why you hold me tite. each n every nite, it keeps me up all nite. thinkin bout the things i like..cant believe youre in my life. i wanna kno why youre the one. the things that they should've done, you've already done. God sent you strait to me..you make me wanna sing..lalalalala. but..when you look at me, do you see your wife? can you picture us lovin each other fo life? are you playin the role jus like the rest? these are the questions that i ask myself. if another should come..whos finer than me..n she wanna take your love away..would you leave? baby please..answer these questions. could this be my whole fantasy? maybe you could be jus too good fo me. if i dont wake, then i wont see..cuz if im not the one you met..then who is in me? in the midst of tears..how come i love you more n more n more? i neva longed fo no one..yes its true..seems like questions keep here with me. if you really wanna be with me..then i'll say..i love you endlessly. one thing that i really wanna kno..will this end or will this grow? n now if you really wanna be with me..i'll love you endlessly. one thing i really wanna kno..will this end or will this grow?
+ just a thought +
yannoe how adults alwaise say that we're too young..n that we still have a whole life ahead of us n crap? i guess theyre rite..that we do..but wusnt it an adult who said to live in the moment? live fo today. dont worry about a damn thing. n i really hate when they say that we dont kno wut "love" is about..jus cuz we're young. werent they young when they fell in love? i think they jus forgot..soo to all the adults who say shit like that..i feel sorry fo you because you forgot wut its like.
okay thats it..i'll edit laterr. one.
Posted at 05:28 am by b0nafid3
Aug 21, 2003
its jus karma homegirl. sorry to break it to ya.
mmkay..i jus read this chicks entry..n it really made me mad. it had nothin to do with me but all the shit she wus sayin jus seemed so fuccin selfish.
she talks bout like throughout the years n shit n how she lost friends or wutever..n how she changed. yeah i mite not have been there through those times..but i wus there befo you changed. i really cant believe that you talked about all that shit, not even realizing JUS HOW MUCH pain you've put people through. EVEN ME. it wus cuz of you that my life wus hell the begining of freshmen year n you have the nerve to ask fo forgiveness like it aint no thing. not only did you hurt me, you bacstabbed n talked shit about your own homegirls. while people talked shit bout you..n how you looked..or wutever the fuc people were sayin bout you..i wus there..STANDING UP FO YOU. i neva said nething to you cuz i didnt think nething of it. after all..thats wut homegirls are fo rite? bac them up, no questions asked. but..when people were doin that shit to me, you didnt even have the fuccin balls to stick. how can you ask fo a friendship so real n genunine as hers when you cant even return the favor? do you kno that you fuccin called people ugly that you didnt even kno? i really n truly hate to say this..but after everything you've done to your own homegirls, people you didnt kno, n me..all the shit you got coming..YOU DESERVE. i wish i could jus let you live one day of my life bac then. so you could feel the pain you put on me..so you could see shit through my eyes. im not sayin i wus rite..but i AM sayin that you were wrong to talk all that shit n let sumone take a fall that hard. especially after alla that shit i did fo you. i neva expected nething cuz..i figured..homegirls are homegirls. it really pisses me off that you could write an entry like that, practically beggin fo forgiveness when you've put other people through so much more. why dont you fuccin take a look at wut you did to yourself, to me, n most of all..to your friends. you talked shit about your friends..when i can tell you that even though i've had my problems w/ them..they've done nothin but stand up fo yo ass. you kno why you changed this year? because you wanted to fit like everyone else..wanted to do all the things they did. thats rite..i remember in 8th grade..when you lost it..to sumone who didnt mean shit to you cuz you wanted to "beat me" n cuz one of your friends did too. i remember when you were in that house by yourself w/ all them boyz, you called my cellfone askin me fo help. man i remember bein so scared fo you. i neva got a thank you fo pullin through fo you..n in the end, you did to me wut your friends are doing to you. the only difference is that i stayed true to my friends..i didnt go talkin shit. so befo you write a sorry ass entry like that..think about wut you did to everyone..im not even askin you to think bout wut you did to me..jus think bout wut you did to everyone else..n then think bout wut youre saying. how can you have ne self confidence at all the way you treat people? well..i guess that is how you gain your self confidence..by bringing other people down. maybe you deserve all this mo than you think.
sorry..i had to get that out..n a lot of you probably wont understand..soo yeahh..sorry if you disagree.
Posted at 06:10 pm by b0nafid3
two years `n loved every minute of it
okay that picture that i faded is REALLY REALLY OLD. it wus taken two years ago..n its the only picture of me n him that i have on this computer soo..shut that shit up! haha jm..sorry its really old. i'll put a new one up later. onee.
thanks fo everythin babe. i love you.Posted at 06:39 am by b0nafid3
Aug 20, 2003
v.1//i want you
kay thats jus a temporary layout since i dont have alla my stuff here in states. newaisee..i left xanga since its a piece of crap that alwaise shuts down so F YOU XANGA! F YOU! newho..im on the fone w/ my baby rite now. isnt that awesome!? =)..yeahh. okay well newaise..didnt do nething today..cept..go to fashion valley w/ the family..home depot..n then chill at home n work on this layout while talkin to my babe. =) mm..im gon miss him. WHY GOD WHY! haha..okay i think i'll jus end this now..byeee..
bianca<3chuck81301
Posted at 02:48 pm by b0nafid3
